Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

So I have been doing one hell of a lot of driving lately so I’ve been getting into audio-books to help pas the time. So far I have driven between Phoenix and Flagstaff about four or five times (2.5 hours each way) , from Phoenix to San Francisco (it was supposed to be 11.5 hours but I managed to turn it into 14 hours cause I’m SO talented) and from San Francisco to Eugene, Oregon (8 hours). I love my music but I can only listen to The Book of Mormon soundtrack so many times before I start to resent it. So I trekked to Bookmans, raided Librivox, and started an Audible account. So far this has been an excellent distraction from the endless amount of driving I’ve been doing.

The first book I listened to was Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. I distinctly remember when the film adaptation came out because I scoffed at the poster and acted super snobbishly as I criticized the current state of out film culture. Of course I ended up seeing it in spite of my pretentious  attitude and I ended up absolutely loving it. It quickly became my guilty pleasure movie and when I saw the audio-book, I grabbed it in the hopes of repeating the experience. I’m a little bummed out to say that I was not as captivated by the book as I was by the film. This is an opinion I rarely hold so I am extremely surprised.

The book was a little boring for me. Which is shocking since it involves a young Abraham Lincoln repeatedly decapitating vampires while also becoming a well-respected and admired member of society. The thing I like most about both the film and the book is the idea. The basic plot is that Lincoln becomes a vampire hunter because of revenge there is a secret society of vampires that use the slave trade as a marketplace for their meals. In this book the Civil War is less about North Vs. South and more about Vampires vs. Humans.

Lincoln eventually joins a secret alliance between the humans and a select few vampires in the hopes of driving out the southern vamps whose eventual goal is a hierarchy in which vampires rule over the white men who rule over the slaves. Unfortunately this interesting idea wasn’t enough to hold my interest. The books simply failed to reach the level of awesomeness that the film did. Though it is difficult create something more awesome than Abraham Lincoln blowing the head of a vampire using an ax that miraculously turns into a shotgun. I’m starting to think that my standards were too high.


Grahame-Smith, Seth. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. New York: Grand Central Pub., 2010. Print.


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